Ralph Fiennes and together with Julianne Moore who played the leading roles in the movie “The End of the Affair” brought the plot to life with an electrifying performance. This movie was about a passionate woman who was trapped in a loveless marriage which eventually drove her into the arms of another man.
The plot of this movie is very real and applicable to some marriages. There are quite a number of couples who live in loveless marriages where there is simply no love in the marriage anymore or in some instances there never was any love to begin with.
What brings a marriage to such a deadlock where you are totally oblivious to the feelings of your spouse? Is it lack of communication or is it due to people being too tied up in the rat race of life?? Well, I wouldn’t know coz I haven’t ventured into marriage as yet….
Nevertheless, I think that it is an awful situation to be in. Aren’t we all human beings with feelings??? Can you blame a person who is driven into the arms of another or who resorts to divorce, in a loveless marriage???
I guess that it is very easy for us to pass judgement on situations like this as we don’t share the pain and hurt the victims are going through. Most of us stick to the rules in the book and hence anything which differs from it is considered as evil.
The question of that matter is what is really evil???
Are not acts like malicious gossip, hypocrisy, injustice, physical abuse and false evidence more evil than affairs and divorces resorted to in a loveless marriage??
I am not saying that I consent to divorces and illegitimate affairs. In my eyes I think that everything has to be looked at subjectively and judgement can not be generalised.
What is needed to resolve deadlocks in marriages??
In my eyes I think that it’s vital for such couples in a loveless marriage to seek help (i.e. marriage counselling) and try and unearth the root cause for the matter, because you can only resolve things by bringing then out in the open. Being in denial will only aggravate the matter.
How can you avoid marriages turning bitter??
I am not saying that I consent to divorces and illegitimate affairs. In my eyes I think that everything has to be looked at subjectively and judgement can not be generalised.
What is needed to resolve deadlocks in marriages??
In my eyes I think that it’s vital for such couples in a loveless marriage to seek help (i.e. marriage counselling) and try and unearth the root cause for the matter, because you can only resolve things by bringing then out in the open. Being in denial will only aggravate the matter.
How can you avoid marriages turning bitter??
As the saying goes “prevention is better then cure” therefore I believe that in order to maintain a solid marriage it is vital to have love, fidelity, compromise, understanding, appreciation and a ear to listen.
Comments
For starters communication: not only about just talking - communicating feelings, touch, doing things without talking about it... a lot more to add.. When communication breaks down :'( Hhhmmmmm
"people being too tied up in the rat race" People going after money... endless desire for money. People forget priority..
thanks..
But I guess when they grow older they become a slave to habit, and come to the conclusion that they are happy with what they have and they become too complacent with life or a marriage. As the saying goes “The known devil is better than the unknown devil”
Hope you are able to find the eternal bliss that you are in search for. I also hope that the newer generation will break all the genetically embedded cells of complacency and never settle for anything but the best.
-----------------------------------
Dark Horse, ya I do agree that it is the fault of the individual as well as the culture if you deliberately get into a loveless marriage.
However, in my penultimate paragraph I was referring not only to the latter mentioned types of couples but also to those couples whose marriage has turned sour after some years of marriage.
In my opinion I believe that marriages can go sour for many reasons, but I think the main reasons are due to spouses changing overtime and the loss of a child/ not being able to bear children.
In my eyes I believe that some people change after sometime and the people who remain unchanged are very rare. I pray to God that I will not change. Anyway, I think the main reason for spouses to change is because they tend to take their spouse for granted, which will lead to a lot of hurt and conflict and ultimately will lead to a loveless marriage or sterile marriage.